Thursday, September 11, 2014

They're Real and They're Spectacular

In an episode of the sitcom "Seinfeld" titled The Implant, Jerry decides to break up with his girlfriend, Sidra (played by Terri Hatcher) because he is convinced she has had breast augmentation. In the end, Jerry finds out Sidra's breasts are natural. As she walks out on him, she lets him know what he'll be missing."They're real and they're spectacular."

Terri Hatcher and Jerry Seinfeld
It pretty much sums up how I've always felt about my breasts. I've always liked them, and age and childbirth have done little to diminish their beauty. So it is with sadness that I must bid farewell to my right breast.

A second core biopsy last week revealed another cancerous area about 6mm from the original tumor. My doctors say a lumpectomy would not have an aesthetic result and would risk leaving behind some malignant cells. So on September 24, I'll undergo a mastectomy.

This is a surgery that cuts psychologically as well as physically. For example, I didn't cry when surgeons cut out about 12 inches of infected colon. But when my doctor called me this weekend (it's never good news on a weekend) to tell me of the second tumor, I did.

 It sneaks up on me. Today a fashion magazine came in the mail and all I could think about was how the surgery would alter me and my clothing choices. This is not an earth-shattering tragedy, but I took a few moments to feel really sorry for myself. This week I started back at school to begin what promises to be an exciting school year. But almost as soon as I start, I'll be taking some time off. Can you tell I'm having a bad day?

I've put off any reconstructive surgery. I'll wait to see what kind of ongoing treatment I'll need first. That means I'll need to learn more about what my body will be like after this surgery.

Any advice you have for me is welcome.